Your burden is light and Your yoke is easy
O happy fault that gained for me the chance to know You, Lord
Strange and sweet collision of justice and mercy
I know, and I believe that You are the Lord
Help my unbelief
"Help My Unbelief" by Audrey Assad
From her album, Fortunate Fall
Its heads give judgment for a bribe; its priests teach for a price;
its prophets practice divination for money; yet they lean on the Lord and say,
“Is not the Lord in the midst of us? No disaster shall come upon us."
- Micah 3:11
I have been foolish in thinking that the Lord will provide and deliver me from difficult times when I have been neglecting Him, only coming to Him in my time of need, like a child only wanting to be friends with another for the pool in their backyard, or the friend who calls only when they need something or have something to gain from you. I’ve been neglecting and ignoring God because a relationship with Him seemed like an inconvenience to me in my selfish heart, because it meant that I would have to face the realities of my doubts and fears and anxieties.
My heart said, “I do what I want,” but with my lips, I said, “He is with me.” I was walking in the name of my pride and self-sufficiency; I ignored God and followed my gods.
For all the peoples walk each in the name of its god,
but we will walk in the name of the Lord our God forever and ever.
- Micah 4:5.
I was running around as if I didn’t know the Lord, trying to do it all on my own, saying with my mouth that I trusted in His name. I idolized the work of my hands and chose to ignore God who has His hands in everything.
and I will cut off your carved images and your pillars from among you,
and you shall bow down no more to the work of your hands;
- Micah 5:13
In desperation, I cried out, “I don’t want to stray further away from you than I already have.” A strange and sweet peace washed over me and I saw myself reaching out for the Lord’s outstretched arm, taking steps towards Him just to graze His finger tips, so that I can get close enough to grab it and walk alongside Him. Instead of going to Him with my tail between my legs like a disobedient and guilty puppy, instead of crawling back to Him in shame, this time I am walking towards Him.
The Lord, He is a strange and sweet collision of justice and mercy.
He is just and the consequences of my self-sufficiency, self-dependence, and pride was that I was far from the Lord’s love and goodness. He hated my sin, my sin angered Him, and He was just. But His mercy brought me back to Him. With open arms, He greets me. I am no longer a prodigal child but simply His child.
He does not retain his anger forever, because he delights in steadfast love.
He will again have compassion on us; he will tread our iniquities underfoot.
- Micah 7:18-19